there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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