I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
