Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
