Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
