is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Every concussion has its silver lining
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
