walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
