Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
