either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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