it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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