we have officially lost it.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
