Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
