if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
