awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
