Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize