Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
