one two three fourrrrnication!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
