He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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