I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Terrible idea I love it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
