they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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