he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
