WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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