Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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