when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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