Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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