I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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