well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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