im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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