Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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