Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(852): View more from

i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?

(256): View more from Alabama

Stay away from his face.

(852): View more from

so i go for his dick?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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(512): View more from Texas

someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o

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