sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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