Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
