hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
