She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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