I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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