For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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