we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
