nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
