What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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