I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
