i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
