the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
