How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
