so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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