i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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