that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
