I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
