i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
