So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
