That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
