this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When did angry sex become our thing?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
